Leading When You’re the “First”: Lessons in Confidence, Credibility, and Change for Women in Male-Dominated Workplaces
If you’ve ever walked into a room and felt the air shift — the sudden silence, the sideways glances, the unspoken “do you belong here?” — you’re not alone.
For many women stepping into technical industries and traditionally male workplaces, leadership doesn’t begin on a level playing field. It begins with assumptions: about your capability, your credibility, and sometimes your right to be there at all. And yet, women are doing it — leading teams, turning around difficult environments, and proving that inclusive leadership isn’t “nice to have”, it’s how real progress happens.
This article shares practical leadership insights drawn from a candid conversation with Ashley, a mechanical engineer turned people-focused leader, whose career has moved through engineering, consulting, and high-pressure operational roles — including becoming the first female supervisor in a workshop of hundreds.
Watch full Podcast on YouTube.
Why women still feel “out of place” in technical spaces
Ashley’s story begins like many: she enjoyed maths and science, explored engineering, and eventually found her way into mechanical engineering — a discipline where women were a small minority.
What stood out wasn’t a lack of intelligence or ambition. It was the culture shock.
Being treated as “different” for the first time
Classroom examples built around male-coded assumptions (cars, motors, workshop exposure)
The harsh reality of both unconscious and conscious bias
This matters because confidence isn’t just personal — it’s shaped by environment. When young women constantly receive subtle signals that they’re outsiders, it becomes harder to picture themselves as future engineers, supervisors, or decision-makers.
Takeaway: Representation is important, but daily culture is what keeps people in (or pushes them out).
The invisible weight women carry in leadership
One of the most powerful reflections from the conversation was simple:
“I wish I learned a lot earlier: you don’t have to be everyone’s friend.”
Many women leaders feel pressure to be liked, to smooth every edge, and to “earn” belonging through over-giving — even to people who were never going to support them.
Ashley described burning energy trying to win over people who had already decided who she was: a “diversity hire”, a young woman taking a role others expected a man to have, an engineer in a trade-heavy environment.
Her leadership turning point came from accepting a hard truth:
If you lead, some people won’t like you — and that’s not always a sign you’re doing it wrong.
The silence in the room isn’t always rejection
When Ashley first stepped into her supervisor role, she’d walk into the break room and the conversation would stop. She assumed she’d done something wrong.
Later, after building trust and having one-on-one conversations, the truth came out:
Many team members had never had a female leader before
They were afraid of “saying the wrong thing”
Silence felt safer than accidental offence
This is a crucial reframing for leaders: sometimes discomfort isn’t hostility — it’s unfamiliarity. That doesn’t make it your job to carry everyone’s emotions, but it does help you choose the right response.
Practical strategy: Don’t mind-read. Create structured, consistent spaces for conversation (like regular 1:1s), and let people learn you through professionalism over time.
Credibility gaps: when you start at “minus 20”
Ashley walked into a complex situation:
Someone else had acted in the role for years
The team respected that person’s technical skill
Ashley was new to workshop leadership
The organisation was vocal about gender targets
So she didn’t start at zero. She started behind.
This is the reality many women face: you’re often asked to prove competence that others are assumed to have.
And yet, her story also shows what credibility really is: not a title, not a stereotype, not “fitting in”, but consistent leadership under pressure. Months later, a team member told her plainly:
“I now know why you got the role over the other person.”
That’s earned authority — and it’s built through decisions, clarity, and delivery.
The leadership traits that actually move teams forward
Academic leadership models have their place, but the most effective traits in real workplaces often look like this:
1) Approachability that doesn’t dilute authority
Ashley carries a principle she learned early: don’t lose your approachability.
Approachability makes you the leader people come to before a problem becomes a crisis.
2) Quiet leadership that lands when it matters
Not the loudest in the room — but when she speaks, people listen.
That’s influence built on timing, credibility, and restraint.
3) Taking people on the journey
Even if you can see the solution quickly, most teams need time to understand the problem together. The goal isn’t just the answer — it’s buy-in.
4) Self-awareness under stress
Ashley names it clearly: stress can make her blunt or impatient.
That awareness is a strength, because it lets you course-correct before you unintentionally damage trust.
5) Comfort with uncomfortable situations
Some leaders avoid friction. Others can sit inside it, steady the room, and guide people through change. That ability is rare — and essential.
Mentorship that fits your reality (not a generic template)
A major theme was mentorship — and not the “assigned mentor” kind.
When Ashley couldn’t find someone inside her organisation who understood what she was facing, she went outside: industry networks, peers in other companies, people who had walked similar paths.
Best practice: Seek mentors aligned with your lived challenges, not just your job title. Sometimes the best guidance comes from beyond your workplace.
Building confidence in girls before the confidence drop
Ashley raised a point many parents, educators, and leaders recognise: girls’ confidence in maths and science often drops in primary school.
The solution isn’t pressure — it’s encouragement, exposure, and language that reinforces capability:
“You can do it.”
“Let’s work it out together.”
“It’s okay not to know yet.”
Confidence is built in moments that seem small at the time — and they shape what young women believe is possible later.
Closing reflection: leadership isn’t about being liked — it’s about being trusted
If there’s one thread running through Ashley’s journey, it’s this:
Leadership is a practice of clarity, courage, and care — especially when the room wasn’t built for you.
You won’t win everyone over. But you can build trust, deliver outcomes, and create spaces where the next person doesn’t have to be “the first” in the same way you were.
Join us: QLD International Women’s Day Parliamentary Breakfast Event — 3 March 2026
To continue these conversations in a meaningful way, we invite you to attend the QLD International Women’s Day – Parliamentary Breakfast Event on 3rd March 2026.
Join us for a moving and inspiring morning as we celebrate International Women’s Day with a special Parliamentary Breakfast honouring the remarkable women who have shaped Queensland’s history — not only through leadership and activism, but through the often-unrecognised roles of motherhood, caregiving, and community building.
Set in the heart of Queensland’s democratic home at Queensland Parliament, this event will shine a light on the pioneering women who nurtured change — in their families, their communities, and across Queensland.
If you believe leadership deserves recognition in all its forms — public and private, visible and unseen — we’d love to see you there.